Eyes pressed tightly shut, while I wait for the dust to settle
And the echoing screams to stop.
I stumble to my feet and examine the ruins
Of shattered dreams and fallen mountain tops.
How did this occur, where were the signs?
Did I cover my eyes or I didn’t wish to believe?
Words can be spoken, but no longer received;
The outcome of being lied to, face to face so mercilessly.
When told “I love you”, can’t let those feelings begin
Doors closed tightly; will take time to let her in.
A wrong move and it’ll be snuffed out
Leaving only a smoking wicker.
Now too quick to find the negative, too afraid to give a chance
Now too quick to make conclusions, with only a fleeting glance.
My thoughts can become poisonous, my decisions swift, final and brash
My thoughts of self-preservation instead; when my faith in love, honest and relationships have been smashed.
Worried it will be a repeat; the pain and anguish replayed
Worried it will resurrect old demons I once again have to slay
Worried it will lead to nightmares reborn; crushing moments on slow motion replay.
Once I was a Man who stood his ground;
Dependable, stable and committed – never let the one he loved down.
Now I am a boy who is scared to stay and stick around;
Afraid to be vulnerable and open, easier to leave town.
I now stumble my way along this twisting path
The remnants of my soul to guide me in the aftermath.
writing, my writing, poetry